Compassion fatigue

While I'm reading notes and consult letters, I have compassion fatigue. When I am driving to the office, I have compassion fatigue, while I'm processing labs I have compassion fatigue and especially when I'm doing lawyers letters and forms for patients, I have compassion fatigue. But, when I step in that door and actually have the patient encounter? I don't have compassion fatigue. It melts away. But, unfortunately that feeling doesn't last all day. When I get home I'm exhausted and want to go to bed at 6:00. I force myself to exercise and do the things I should do, but the days I really love are my 1/2 days. Makes me think I should just work 5 half days per week :)

In other news, Ben and I went to see Sky Fall last night and given that I'm not a big Bond lover, I actually quite enjoyed it. If you haven't see it, and you want to see it, stop reading now. Spoiler alert...

I was really a bit freaked out by the guy who'd had half of his skeletal structure of his face eaten away by hydrogen cyanide. Imagine being in a torture chamber and finally giving in and poisoning yourself only to find it didn't work and you were maimed and disfigured forever? I can kinda see why he wanted revenge. The whole movie also brought up a lot of "deep thoughts" for me about who exactly is the villain? I mean, the British secret service has sacrificed many people (?hundreds) for the "good of the empire" - granted, if they were spies they probably agreed to die for the good of the empire, but can anyone actually consent to that in advance? to being sold out by their country and tortured/killed? And, for what? I'm not sure. It was interesting all in all.

I went to a conference on Friday/Saturday of this week, which is probably why I feel fatigued because it necessitated me working full days mon-thurs to have Friday off and today (Sunday) is the only day to recuperate and we were out late last night seeing the movie. I went out for a long bike ride today but unfortunately, it was torture rather than pleasure.

THE SHEEPDOG’S PRAYER

The Knights of Olde were Men of Honor
Who used their Might For Right!
Today they’re known as Sheepdogs
Those who carry on the fight.

I am a tired old Sheepdog,
The guardian of my flock.
I keep the predators at bay
And stand watch around the clock.

Please stop the Sheep from pulling my teeth. 
I’ll need them for the fight,
When the hungry Wolves come calling
Some dark and deadly night.

I pray I never need my gun
But someday if I do,
May my cause be just!
My draw be quick!
And my aim be ever true!

Heaven holds a special place
For those who do the deed,
Defenders of the innocent
In their hour of need.

May the Sheep someday be grateful. 
There’s a debt they cannot pay,
To the Sheepdogs who lay it on the line
Each and every day.

I am proud to be a Sheepdog.
I’ve done my very best.
I’ll stand my watch until my Maker
Calls me home to rest.

But when I meet Saint Peter,
There’s just one request I’ll make:
“Please let me spend Eternity
Standing guard at Heaven’s Gate.”