How did I get to this age and still have zits? I have BOTH zits and wrinkles! This is so cruel!

Today is Ben's birthday - Happy Birthday Lover! Unfortunately, I am not in the same city as him to celebrate it :( We did have a nice weekend at the cottage with my family. Ben was somewhat grumpy, but I didn't catch his grumpiness until Monday, so I tried to keep the spirits up on the weekend! The weather worked against us, what a bum weekend for a holiday!

I'm on another week of resp... not as bad as I thought... maybe.

Bike racing - O-cup #2

This weekend was the second O-cup race of the year. I almost beat the girl who came second last week. She passed me at the end stretch and beat me by 7 seconds. 7 seconds! I managed to overtake her on the course and then maintain my lead, but then I fell into the bushes and took a while to extract myself and she caught up to me in the last km. I managed to stay in front but she had more legs left in the end than I did. I came 4th and she came 3rd. The same girl won as last week... she's too good for the beginner category! Young and spry she is, old and tired I am! There was a new girl who wasn't there last week who came second. I'm going to miss the next race because it's pretty far away and Ben and I aren't inclined to travel that far. So, in 3 weeks is the next one and I'm gonna be ready for this lady! The course this week was really technical and I surprised myself by being able to ride almost the ENTIRE THING on my first lap. I only got off once and that was to go over this uphill group of 4 logs and I just didn't think I could do the step up. I want to go back now and ride that step-up!

I felt like crap today. I started my week on the respirology consult service and I've been overwhelmed with acronyms that I don't know the meaning of. My homework tonight is to read about the "pneumoconioses" - I hope that's the same as interstitial lung disease because there's nothing about pneumoconioses in my text book!

Anyhoo, I saw someone with Churg-Strauss vasculitis today, which is neat.

Two of my patients from last week died over the weekend. Heartbreakingly sad. I'm kind of glad I wasn't there to witness it, at least this way I can kind of kid myself into thinking it never happened.

I looked SO COOL today. Like, seriously. I went out for my bike ride in my knee warmers, MEC dark grey/blue baggies, castelli jersey, grey nike bubble knit zip up, pink bandana and snot green helmet. I felt like a million bucks... Then I face planted into a tree and got pine sap in my eyebrows. I'm not any worse for wear now though. No facial scratches (thank god, gotta protect the money maker), just a scratch on the shin which is a whole load of nothing. Today I met people on the trails for the first time since I've been biking in this particular park which has some really nice singletrack in it. I'm in active "training" for my race this weekend (this means trying to ride 3 times this week and pushing it a bit harder). I hope I manage not to come last... it felt nice to not come last last time!

We're not going to camp this time. It's mothers day this weekend so we're going to have dinner with my fabby fabulous mimsy on Saturday night and then drive up to the race on Sunday morning. Of course, because I need to know what I'm getting into, we're also pre-riding on Saturday. Please join with me in a prayer that it will not rain on Sunday morning.

Elden over at Fat Cyclist is having a hard time... His wife Susan is dying. Please join with me in sending positive thoughts their way.

idiot

Why am I such a fucking idiot? I feel so stupid every day that I'm in internal medicine. Ugh. I sit there and i'm asked questions and I just am SO BLANK. I used to be smart, what happened? Maybe I should go into obs/gyn, it's the only thing I've actually felt intelligent at.

lost motivation

Last week when the weather was nice I went biking every day. I couldn't wait to go outside and get my bike on. Today and yesterday the weather has been cold and yesterday it was wet. Now I have lost my motivation to ride. I have many excuses, including that I only have shorts, no tights. Though, I haven't gone to the gym to work out inside either... I'm a bum.