I've been a bad poster. I just started anesthesiology last week and it's been rough. Last week I hated it. This week is starting off better. I'm with someone different each day and everyone has their own way of doing things and I'm tired of people telling me how awful and wrong my technique is when someone just told me to do it that way the day before. I'm rubbish at intubating because the mannequin is nothing like the real thing and nobody explained anything to me - they just expected me to do it. I'm afraid of hurting people. One day last week I actually went into the women's bathroom, sat on the toilet and cried. No crying today though... I confessed this morning that I was having a rotten time with the whole intubation thing and the anesthetist was really nice about it and really helped me when I asked for it. I guess I just have to learn to ask for the help that I need. I'm in pain clinic tomorrow in the morning and the OR in the afternoon, so hopefully that will be ok.

Ben and I met our wedding officiant this weekend. He was really nice. I found out last weekend that he married my friend and her husband and they really liked him, so that was good. And, he speaks welsh, so he's going to give a welsh blessing at the wedding just for my Poppy (the only one who will understand it).

Anyway, I'd better go read my pain book and go to bed. I just bought a christmas album called "The Hotel Cafe Presents Winter Songs" and it's really good!