Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Everyone is Pregnant

Lots of people I went to med school with or residency or know professionally from my year are pregnant. Lots. And, I am very happy for them. But, it makes me wonder - will I ever feel that biological drive to have a child? to be honest, I really like my life how it is. I like that I don't have to go drop kids off at daycare and that I can go for a long bike ride on a weekend with Ben without worrying about babysitters. I like that my house is neat and tidy some of the time and that we have no toys other than Ben's Lego. I hold a lot of babies and they're cute and all but I never get sad that I get to given them back. But, I worry that our life won't feel complete or full. I worry that we'll regret it down the road, especially when we're old and lonely. I'm not sure that just the two of us is enough to make a whole life, I mean, aren't we eventually going to get bored of each other?

I'm confused.

1 comment:

Milk and Two Sugars said...

I think I read this very shortly after you posted it, but I'm writing back now because I didn't want to make a poorly-thought out comment (that is, give advice I'm not qualified to give).

The only thing I feel qualified to say is that if you never want to have children, that is okay. If your life is fullfilling as it is (and you certainly do enough to know that you're making an important contribution) then I am certainly strongly on the side of doing what feels right to you.

Obviously I cannot comment from the perspective of a parent. I should note, though, that I work with a few amazing women who felt similarly and ultimately did have one child in their late 30's, on the basis that although they didn't feel an insatiable desire to have children they did think it a worthwhile endeavour that they wanted to take part in. All three are fabulous parents with very self-aware and concientious children, all three enjoy the process and (perhaps most tellingly) all three are very happy to have had only the one.

Good luck. You'll come to the right decision for you and Ben someday, but you also still have plenty of time. xxx