Ah, Christmas. The time when people fill the malls and try to kill you in the subway with large boxes and packages they are wielding with careless joy. I'm trying to relax and enjoy the holiday and forget about my awful exam. It's not happening yet, but hopefully it will by Sunday.
This holiday has been a sad one for my grandmother. Her last living sibling died a few days ago and she has found herself the last survivor of the family she grew up with. I was speaking to her on the telephone and she reminded me that, as the youngest, I would probably also be the last one left of those I grew up with. She called the it curse of being the youngest child - never alone until everyone else has gone. It's hard to listen to someone who has always been upbeat and happy talk about such depressing things. She still has her husband and her children and many grandchildren but it is almost like she's decided that her life is over. She told me that if I was busy not to come visit over the holiday because she's already had her fair share... Of course I'm going to go visit but it's sad to hear someone talking that way. I hope she gets out of her rut soon. I think part of it is that she's surrounded everyday by people who are older and more ill than she and my grandfather are because they live in a retirement community. I hope it is just part of the mourning process and doesn't spill over into her long-term outlook on life.
In good news, I'm almost finished my Christmas shopping and all my sibs are coming over on Christmas day along with their spouses and my darling cute nephew. I am making trifle and Christmas log (a family tradition) and we are going to stuff ourselves silly. Mmmmmmm!
Happy holidays everyone.