How many people will I see die alone in my career. Some by choice, some because they have isolated themselves before they got sick from friends and family, and some because those they call to come to their side don't come.

Mrs. Potts was a lady who was given a diagnosis of cancer along with the promise of curative chemotherapy. Her husband was dead and she only had one friend who she really talked to in this world. Her family was estranged from her and she didn't have any children. When she came into the ICU she had recently been given one chemo treatment - the treatment was killing her. She had no idea it was that bad, and she only had 5 days to come to terms with it before she died. With only strangers with her.

Dear Medstudentitis:

I am writing to congratulate you on receiving the CFPC Medical Student Scholarship. Your application was very impressive as were the letters of reference. You should know that you were highly regarded by the committee and referees who felt you have tremendous potential to contribute not only as a family physician but as a leader for that discipline. I wish you all the best in your continuing studies.

Dean of important medicinal things

Yay!!!! I got the scholarship! I'm soooo stoked! I'm going to use some of the money to go to Amy's wedding!

Another Monday, another drug company sponsored dinner... last month the talk was about smoking cessation, this time about hypertension. The person talked for WAY too long and I kind of tuned out, but the food was good. After my two glasses of wine I felt bombed, maybe I should stick to one next time. I also consumed a lot of water, which was good. I like drug company dinners, mostly because I come out of it forgetting what they talked about and remembering whether the food was good. I was, however, more motivated to talk about smoking cessation with my patients over the last few weeks. I did not push the product that was being talked about though.

I have been tagged for a 7 songs you like meme by Milk and Two Sugars and Xavier, so, here we go:
1. Waiting on the World To Change - John Mayer
2. New Shoes - Paolo Nutini
3. Little Plastic Castle - Ani Difranco
4. Diagnosis - The Weakerthans
5. Anchorless - Propagandhi
6. Ruby Soho - Rancid
7. Fall Down With You - Paperboys

I've been listening to a lot of my old punk albums while riding my bike lately, hence the propagandhi and rancid on the list. "Fall Down with You" is Ben and my song, will be the first to dance to at our wedding. Paolo Nutini is from Glasgow (Paisley to be exact) and that song is one of my favorite dancing in the living room songs, as is Waiting for the World to Change.

How did I get to this age and still have zits? I have BOTH zits and wrinkles! This is so cruel!

Today is Ben's birthday - Happy Birthday Lover! Unfortunately, I am not in the same city as him to celebrate it :( We did have a nice weekend at the cottage with my family. Ben was somewhat grumpy, but I didn't catch his grumpiness until Monday, so I tried to keep the spirits up on the weekend! The weather worked against us, what a bum weekend for a holiday!

I'm on another week of resp... not as bad as I thought... maybe.

Bike racing - O-cup #2

This weekend was the second O-cup race of the year. I almost beat the girl who came second last week. She passed me at the end stretch and beat me by 7 seconds. 7 seconds! I managed to overtake her on the course and then maintain my lead, but then I fell into the bushes and took a while to extract myself and she caught up to me in the last km. I managed to stay in front but she had more legs left in the end than I did. I came 4th and she came 3rd. The same girl won as last week... she's too good for the beginner category! Young and spry she is, old and tired I am! There was a new girl who wasn't there last week who came second. I'm going to miss the next race because it's pretty far away and Ben and I aren't inclined to travel that far. So, in 3 weeks is the next one and I'm gonna be ready for this lady! The course this week was really technical and I surprised myself by being able to ride almost the ENTIRE THING on my first lap. I only got off once and that was to go over this uphill group of 4 logs and I just didn't think I could do the step up. I want to go back now and ride that step-up!

I felt like crap today. I started my week on the respirology consult service and I've been overwhelmed with acronyms that I don't know the meaning of. My homework tonight is to read about the "pneumoconioses" - I hope that's the same as interstitial lung disease because there's nothing about pneumoconioses in my text book!

Anyhoo, I saw someone with Churg-Strauss vasculitis today, which is neat.

Two of my patients from last week died over the weekend. Heartbreakingly sad. I'm kind of glad I wasn't there to witness it, at least this way I can kind of kid myself into thinking it never happened.

I looked SO COOL today. Like, seriously. I went out for my bike ride in my knee warmers, MEC dark grey/blue baggies, castelli jersey, grey nike bubble knit zip up, pink bandana and snot green helmet. I felt like a million bucks... Then I face planted into a tree and got pine sap in my eyebrows. I'm not any worse for wear now though. No facial scratches (thank god, gotta protect the money maker), just a scratch on the shin which is a whole load of nothing. Today I met people on the trails for the first time since I've been biking in this particular park which has some really nice singletrack in it. I'm in active "training" for my race this weekend (this means trying to ride 3 times this week and pushing it a bit harder). I hope I manage not to come last... it felt nice to not come last last time!

We're not going to camp this time. It's mothers day this weekend so we're going to have dinner with my fabby fabulous mimsy on Saturday night and then drive up to the race on Sunday morning. Of course, because I need to know what I'm getting into, we're also pre-riding on Saturday. Please join with me in a prayer that it will not rain on Sunday morning.

Elden over at Fat Cyclist is having a hard time... His wife Susan is dying. Please join with me in sending positive thoughts their way.