Another day, another weekend trying to make up for non-weekday riding. It's freezing outside (literally) so I'm riding the trainer while Ben is insane and goes outside. Let's see if I can make it through the whole hour and a half without losing my mind. It's funny how much different the stimulation and torture factors are on the road vs. inside. I have to remind myself not to look at the clock... it just makes things worse!

For everyone who was wondering, these are rollers:



this is a turbo trainer:

The beginning of winter was not a good time for me to start internal medicine. It's my sleepy time, my low mood time, and my most frustrated time of the year. To be frank, adding something depressing to my low mood isn't all that helpful. Coupled with the fact that I start palliative care next after Christmas, doesn't seem very helpful.

In other news, I'm trying to figure out a new exercise regime as the weather becomes more hazardous for cycling outside. The question is: trainer or rollers? Riding Ben's trainer is ok. But, he thinks rollers will help my pedaling technique more. However, I think there's an element of Ben wanting access to rollers in that equation. I am afraid that I'm going to fall off rollers, although tapered rollers are easier to manage. Any advice anyone? I'm looking at you Dr. K.

In other news, I went for a cheer-up visit to the craft store today to buy a wreath for my door - I bought a nice real pine wreath with some berries and pinecones in it and a fancy hanger that goes over the top of the door. I'm really excited to buy our Christmas tree in 2 weeks time (Ben won't let me get it before them because it will die too early).

I love this... I LOVE THIS bracelet.

Do you ever discharge a patient only to lie awake at night and wonder if you could have done better for them in terms of follow-up? I didn't sleep until 1 am last night because I was fretting over a discharge I did yesterday. Now, today, I'm going to fix it because I can't have another sleepless night (I'm too tired already).

Yesterday was a long day and an exhausting day. Went in early to round on my internal patients before family medicine day. Worked until 8:30 in the evening. Came home and crashed. Starting over again today. I have a patient who's going down hill and nobody can figure out why. Her husband is very angry and yells at me over the phone or in person. All I can tell him is that I'm doing the best that I can.

Last night I made the YUMMIEST dinner ever. Amy's Nawlins shrimp (really Webbers cookbook, but Amy made them for me first and I love them), arugula/toasted pumpkin seed/chevre salad and rice. Yum! Ben laughed at me because I was enjoying it so much - but hey, I like food!

what happened to you thatmirrorbelongstofrank?? I just went to see if you've written anything new and it looks like you've gone private? How do I request and invite?

Oh my god, M and 2S hit it right on the head - so many COPD exacerbations and swine flus my first day (Tuesday). We were there from 7 am to 7 pm to get through all the consults in the ER. One very sad case, which lead to a woman with an exacerbation of COPD/heart failure being tubed in the ICU. We started the DNR conversation, but she wasn't ready and now she's vented and I'm not sure anyone will every know her wishes. Hopefully she talked them over with her husband.

In addition, one of our employees of the hospital has been admitted to ICU with swine flu. We're all a little freaked.

I start internal medicine today for two months. I am dreading it. I feel this is really my downfall because I'm not a detail-oriented differential diagnosis junky and that's what internal really is. I feel ill-prepared and nervous and I'm not looking forward to two months of this sinking feeling when the alarm goes off in the morning. And, this rotation starts at 7 am, which when I was in med school was the norm, but here in the community is on the early side since everything else starts at 9. This is going to be a shock for my body-clock!

I think the winter blues are coming upon me. The dark dark evenings and lack of time to do outdoor exercise during the week is sinking in again. Bah humbug.