A patient who needs to see a respirologist has refused to go back to the respirologist because he waited 45 minutes at the hospital for his PFTs then left without actually having said PFTs. In my head I was thinking "45 minutes aint that bad". He kept telling me about all the people who were going in before him blah blah blah. I was surprised at how little sympathy I felt. Sometimes things don't go according to plan. Sometimes you just gotta wait. Then this guy tells me that he's found ways to deal with his anger and he thinks he can go off his medication... hmmm I don't think so.

The thing about having all 10 minute appointments is that when someone comes in and says they're going to kill themselves - suddenly I'm 20 minutes behind before I even talk to them. Plus, when the nurse is in the room talking to the patient and weighing them etc. at 9 o'clock, I actually don't even get into the room until 9:10. Bam, I'm behind schedule. I've given up on being on time. I'm trying to keep my lateness to less than 20 minutes now. That is pathetic.

So, I know I've been a bad poster. Very bad.

I came home from California and got sick on the plane and then spent a week with the flu while trying to get ready to start my new locum.

Started my new locum to come in to the surprise that the physician I'm covering for sees a patient very 10 minutes... including physicals and well baby visits. To me, that's unacceptable. I see a patient every 15 minutes, physicals for 20 and well babies for 20 in my own office. I have asked them to change this for me and they said "sure"! but as of yet I'm maybe getting 50/50 compliance on that. I feel run off my feet, strung out, and like a bad doctor. I'm also in a bit of a slump and my exercise level has tanked along with my mood and body image. My gym sent out emails that it's going to close so now I need to find the time to look at new gyms. I'm having palpitations. again. This only happens when I'm stressed out.

pictures and trip report to follow

I got sick on the plane home. I think I got first month of school sickness once removed. When I don't feel like death warmed over I'll post about the trip to California and how things went with my MIL.

California here I come!

I'm off to California tomorrow with my husband and mother in law for a hiking trip for her 60th birthday. Hopefully just because it's her birthday trip won't mean that she wants to dictate everything that we do because there is a bit of shopping I'd like to do and of course I need to hang off the outside of the trollly in San Fran and sing this song. I know it's about St. Louis but it's the only trolly song I know!

MIL

I'm not sure why my mother in law visiting stresses me out so much, but here I am, a ball of stress. I'm wondering, will she notice that crack between the cooker and the counter that no broom can fit into and is full of crumbs? Probably. Will she say something? I hope not. Her room has been lovingly prepared and we are taking her to California for her 60th birthday. Our kitchen island is half put together and the kitchen's a bit of a state with boxes full of kitchen island parts but hopefully she won't mind. Our back and front yards have no grass because the drought killed them so now they are covered in compost and fledgling grass seed and look a bit like the mosh pit of an outdoor festival. Nothing seems to be "done". Hopefully she'll be satisfied with a room to sleep in and food in her tummy. That reminds me, I need to buy food. And wine for myself. How come I feel so chaotic!!!

I'm back

Well, that was certainly an adventure. My first ER shifts alone went ok. Nobody died. Nobody was seriously injured by what I did or didn't do (as far as I know). I put on a cast that the patient later disrespected by removing himself with soaking and scissors, I did more slit lamp exams than ever before, I shipped someone out who had a stroke. All new experiences, all personal growth.

I didn't ride my bike enough and so the provincial championships tomorrow are going to be very interesting. I'm glad to be home though!

Rural Medicine

Man, Rural medicine is hard. Being on your own in the emerg in a rural center with xray and lab but nothing else is hard. Thankfully the place where I am has been very supportive and there is a lot of backup and I came with a fantastic friend, but I'm still worn out and I still have 9 hours of this ER shift left, another 24 hour ER shift left to go and another 1.5 days of clinic. On my call days I'm in a constant state of hypervigilence. My bowels have never worked so well. As a good friend said to me the other day - Sheer terror, the original pro-kinetic.

olympic fever!

I'm obsessed with the olympics. I'm glad that my 3 day work week period coincided with the olympics because I can't get enough! The women's time trial is happening right now and the Canadian Clara Hughes went through the first time check in 3rd place and I'm almost peeing my pants in excitement... I will probably cry if she gets a medal. I'm not sure what it is about the Olympics that makes it appeal so much more to me than watching rowing or judo or weight lifting in a normal event. I would love to go to the olympics one day. I think that would be amazing to just soak up the atmosphere!

I hate physicals

I hate physicals. I always find there is way too much health teaching to do that if the person has even one thing THEY want to talk about, I'm in there for 35 minutes and my schedule is behind. Maybe I'm too much of a talker or want to tell people too much but even to hit the salient points and get in the important stuff... it takes a long time! I help people calculate their calcium, figure out if they should be on ASA, find out if they've had their FOBT, BMD, mammogram, pap test, cholesterol, blood sugar, wear sunscreen, wear a seatbelt, are looking forward to target coming to Canada... lots of stuff! Then, someone busts out that they have chestpain and it really falls off the rails! I feel like efficiency comes from cutting out some of the things that I think are important and I don't want to do that. puts me between a rock and a hard place.

In other news, I'm working in a locum right now that's only 6 weeks long and because of that, lots of the patients are waiting for their own doctor to come back.. and I only see about 9 patients per day. How relaxing!

Our garden

Our garden is absolutely taking over our yard... and trying to make a break for the neighbour's yard. I wish I knew more about cutting things back without compromising their fruiting or even to enhance fruiting. My tomatoes are looking a bit wild. Also, we don't eat enough lettuce to support 5 lettuces... note to self. The neighbours are getting a lot of free produce though!

Wow. how often do you get the opportunity to deliver two sisters' babies about 5 minutes apart across the hall from each other?!? crazy night!

For some reason today I felt the need to research the role that Mennonites played in the holocaust. For some reason, I assumed that they would have been victims. This article tells a very different story.

I'm feeling really burned out this week. I almost lost my mind today when all my patients showed up late and then asked me to see them and their spouse and their kids all in a 10 minute appointment. I'm sure the nurses were tired of hearing my bitching. Good thing there is no race next weekend because it's been 5 weekends in a row of racing now and I'm pooped mentally and physically. Not that I don't have to do 3 hour rides over the weekend for training...

I had to tell someone today that they had a brain tumour and someone yesterday that they probably had breast cancer. What's going to be the third thing?

No good very bad day

Yesterday I was participating in an 8 hour mountain bike race. I was aiming to do 11 laps (improving on my 10 laps from last race last September). After lap 1 my back started to hurt. By lap 6 it was so excruciating that I had to get off my bike twice during the lap to stretch. I had to stop. I felt really bad about stopping. In biking a lot of people talk about suffering through pain and keeping pushing through as being the ultimate in a good racer and touch rider. I can push through lots of types of pain, but these back spasms were just crippling. I have another race next weekend and need to be back at my best and shake this off. I've had two disappointing races in a row over the last two weeks. How do you refocus from failure?

Happy birthday to my wonderful beautiful husband!

Doctors are truly the worst patients. I got to work today and was feeling a bit dizzy... checked my BP in curiosity and it was 74/56. oops! Guess I'm a bit dry!

I had to take two days off this week because of having gastro. Hopefully I'll be able to go back tomorrow. Sometimes I wish I had an office job where me leaving for a few days isn't as difficult. I feel guilty leaving them in the lurch, but I couldn't get off the toilet long enough to even drive to work today.

Just in Time

Just when I never thought I'd have a really good belly laugh again, one of my first year medical students tried to take someone's oral temperature with an ear thermometer... I couldn't help but guffaw.

Residents beware, your first year in practice is exhausting. I barely feel like I have time to catch my breath and I have a half day off per week.