Friday, November 02, 2007

This week I dropped below 130 lbs for the first time in approximately 10 years. Not because I've been trying to lose weight but because i've been trying to get into a shape that wouldn't frighten people if they were to accidentally see me naked. I've been eating the same old crap I usually do, which means I could probably look more fit than I do, but I like to eat crap so I'm happy as is. I was preparing for my session today on adolescent interviews and one of the questions is "How do you feel about your body? If there was something you could change, what would it be?" and I was trying to think back to highschool and what I thought of my body then. For the most part I remember being pretty satisfied, except for my small boobs. I was pretty athletic and was figure skating all the time, although a coach (not mine) once told me I could lose a few pounds... I knew I wasn't fat. This makes me wonder what it was with my upbringing that made me so secure about my body when other people I knew were very insecure. I was friends with at least 2 anorexic girls in highschool. One was a bit overweight and went on to become very very thin and the other started off as a thin athlete and became absolutely skeletal. Is it because my mom always told me that I was ok just the way I was, even though in the later years of highschool I had blue and pink hair and dressed like a punk? Is it because my family all ate dinner dogether and watched Star Trek the next generation? Is it because my brother and I got along so well?

I think about the anorexic girls I knew's lives and they seemed very much like mine. What was the crucial difference? Am I setting a bad example for other people by talking about my weight now? Am I buying into the weight loss obsession that seems to be gripping North America but isn't resulting in any less obesity (if anything, more obesity)?

3 comments:

Milk & Two Sugars said...

Your environment (particularly your parents) instilled in you a sense of self worth that wasn't related in any way to your appearance. That's the key.

What a great mum you have, that she told you you were wonderful despite your blue hair!

Midwife with a Knife said...

My mother's biggest trauma of her middle age is that she'll "Never have a thin daughter!".

Um... yeah. Congrats on your weight loss, though. I wonder, is there a way to change the focus on defeating obesity to a focus on increasing health?

Anonymous said...

It's so great that you had a mum that accepted you unconditionally for who you are. Maybe if my birth mom had been like that I wouldn't have such a weird relationship with food and weight loss.

- a regular reader